In the wake of so many women speaking up: their courage, the important attention on sexual harassment and the fact that women have suffered predominantly in private for so long, I feel more empowered to speak up. I wish I could share everything about being manipulated by a narcissist - and still seem like the... Continue Reading →
Suppose it never comes - complete closure. The moment it feels as if you've done what needed to be done, said everything in your heart, gave it the time to percolate and kept the feedback window open for an adequate amount of time. And it feels right. Really right. Balanced, like your mind and body... Continue Reading →
During my turn around the table, my meek voice forced out why I was there. “And so you did heroin?” someone quickly asked. No, I said. Another asked “You ended up selling your body?” “My fiancé cruelly threw me and our life away,” I summed up. “That’s everything, just that.” Several patients remained confused. Straight... Continue Reading →
There were far more moments of bliss than moments of hurt and frustration with my ex-fiancé. This, is perhaps why I fell so hard in the end when he abruptly left. The flip side to narcissists is that they show a powerful display of emotion and care. There will be a time when I am... Continue Reading →
It was more common for him to turn molehills into mountains, so I learned to navigate, process my own response and reaction. While questioning him, he made me question myself.
He bought his innocence off my guilt. How do I effectively share my perspective without being judged? Can I hold credibility for speaking what was true for me, in the face of the bullshit version of his that he was early to release? Tough dilemma.
Because of the promises I made myself, myself, not you. That I would be the best version of myself, give every bit of energy and effort I had, like my toughest workout, an important gift, and a letter of gratitude. Give, so I could say that I didn’t have any more left. You can’t say that.
Certainly, you reminded them that I was the unstable one, the unhinged woman who should have been perfectly hinged after you coldly withdrew yourself in a blink. You were the victim, as you always have been, I’m simply another woman who wronged you..
Failure, like loneliness, are often perceived as unwanted. For me, the stuff that you're either not able to see until you fail - reveals itself.
First steps on the path of self-discovery, and waking up from almost marrying a narcissistic sociopath.
rachel2point0 
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