Beauty in the unexpected

Today was the day I was getting married. It's been in the works for almost two years. For the last six months, this date has been hanging over me like a dark, scary shadow. I've been preparing for this. Getting centered, getting guarded and protected by a force of love. Surrounded by loving people, in... Continue Reading →

Here it comes again

Autumn. The most meaningful and favorite season of my life. It's the fresh start that comes in with the chilly air, as if to awaken, re-energize and refresh. Everything changes: the colors, the temperature, the ground, the clothing, the sky, the mood. It's like that wonderful chorus in one of those incredible songs that will... Continue Reading →

Ain’t Gonna Be Your Fool

There were far more moments of bliss than moments of hurt and frustration with my ex-fiancé. This, is perhaps why I fell so hard in the end when he abruptly left. The flip side to narcissists is that they show a powerful display of emotion and care. There will be a time when I am... Continue Reading →

Challenged to change

Unlike the man who coldly broke my heart, I haven’t and do not consider myself a “victim.” I have generally understood right from wrong. I have tried to be gentle and considerate to all beings. I can be with sadness, pain, sorrow. I can be with myself and know that I am not held hostage... Continue Reading →

A letter to God

In Elul, the 60 days leading up to the Jewish High Holidays, it is said that God is in the fields, with us. He is informal, and predisposed to grant all requests. It is encouraged not to wait until Yom Kippur (the day to atone for sins in the previous year), but to take the... Continue Reading →

Were there signs?

There is so much stuff out there for dealing with change. How to handle it. How to avoid it. How to prepare for it. How to master it. How to get someone else to do it. How to do it so it doesn't look like you've done it. When essentially change is happening all the... Continue Reading →

It’s Not Easy

It's not easy having to regurgitate the story that evolved almost five months ago. When my fiancé ripped me away from the two kids I step-parented, emptied our house of his things, and was "done" with us. Just. Like. That. All while with his family out of state, in the process of buying a house,... Continue Reading →

Shifts Can Happen

Bad crap happens all the time - but SHIFTS can happen all the time too. The neuroscientist said this during the "Bouncing Back" program I attended a few months ago. She covered so much, but I was just 60 something days post the trauma of being thrown in the trash and virtually left for dead... Continue Reading →

I’m Here

I forget sometimes that I'm *here.* I can't automatically revert back to my go-go-go patterns, I am focused on now, this day, this moment. I suppose I am grateful that out of pain I am developing a slowing down, a loosening that I knew was beneficial, but didn't think possible for someone like me. The... Continue Reading →

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