Running, like a butterfly

Butterflies frequently fly in short bursts, which is how I would describe myself as a runner. During the months after my divorce, I literally ran out of the house, as if I was repelled. My inability to process the end of a 12 year relationship (and 7 year marriage) kept me from glancing at the emotions like a tornado inside of me. Suddenly, this tornado was my new running coach. I was running, as “sport,” for the first time. My mind was everywhere and I needed more than my usual fitness routine of Pilates, spinning, kickboxing and barre classes. Day after day it was like being sucked outside by a magnet to just…run. I’ve never loved running. It is a way to challenge myself, push myself, so I have continued to sign up for races throughout the year and continue to train for them.  I tend to keep my promises, honor my word, and follow through when I set my mind to something.

Not much else comes close to that sense of personal pride and accomplishment, and so I do it – I keep running and testing myself. In a few days I’ll run a race farther than I have conquered in five years, at an elevation of more than 2,000 feet and partly on the Appalachian Trail. It’s going to be tough, but I’m here.

sad tree

the Crow

I left the turquoise, serene beaches of the Bahamas and rocked this shiny and bright red Fiat up the winding, lush, beautiful roads through the Smoky Mountains. So many shades of green. Absolutely stunning drive, with very few cars on the road. The air is crisp, and the mountains are layered in shadows and fully blanketed with trees. This girl didn’t quite put two and two together driving through the region. Why are there so many bbq’s going on, it’s so hot? I wondered over and over again to myself in my Fiat. Oh, wait, are those clouds? Wow. Hovering in pockets in between mountains and thickly settled valleys of trees. Hours later I finally had the aha moment. Ohhhhhhh, the Smoky Mountains. Got it.

Butterflies use their sense of sight, hearing, touch and smell to survive in the world. Their high-intensity light receptors enable them to see color in a much more vivid way than we’re capable of seeing. So many butterfly metaphors out there and I don’t want to add to that list. Yet these days I am striving to pay more attention to my senses. Needless to say, I’m in a place of re-grounding, and I can’t keep running my habitual patterns to survive in my world.