Here it is. One year has gone by. It's a snowy morning. This is spring. Even if mother nature is not ready yet. A milky white sky so serene, so peaceful. Quiet. Quiet like the start of day. A practice I've put in place about six months ago: beginning my day in silence, being aware... Continue Reading →
What woman dives into a relationship with a man immediately after he drops his fiancé in a snap, and rips her away from his kids that have been in her life for four years? What does it take to look deep into someone's eyes and be hypnotized by the stories they tell: the reasons he... Continue Reading →
A few days ago, I got a flash back of the day leading up to the very end - of the relationship with my ex-fiancé. I had seldom thought about that part on repeat. As opposed to the other minutes I rode into the decision to try and take my life. Those I recall in... Continue Reading →
The shortest month of the year is just about over. When you’ve been thrown away and flicked aside without a lick of care by the person you were spending your life with – “getting over it” is not a simple template to follow. There isn’t a period of standard sadness that it’s over. You don’t... Continue Reading →
Suppose it never comes - complete closure. The moment it feels as if you've done what needed to be done, said everything in your heart, gave it the time to percolate and kept the feedback window open for an adequate amount of time. And it feels right. Really right. Balanced, like your mind and body... Continue Reading →
During my turn around the table, my meek voice forced out why I was there. “And so you did heroin?” someone quickly asked. No, I said. Another asked “You ended up selling your body?” “My fiancé cruelly threw me and our life away,” I summed up. “That’s everything, just that.” Several patients remained confused. Straight... Continue Reading →
There were far more moments of bliss than moments of hurt and frustration with my ex-fiancé. This, is perhaps why I fell so hard in the end when he abruptly left. The flip side to narcissists is that they show a powerful display of emotion and care. There will be a time when I am... Continue Reading →
It was more common for him to turn molehills into mountains, so I learned to navigate, process my own response and reaction. While questioning him, he made me question myself.
Gravity was the heaviest it had ever been, and my stomach was glued to the floor. There was no final conversation, no sad goodbye, no gave-it-our-best-shot chat, no mutual agreement to part and move on, no arrangements made, no inkling whatsoever.
He bought his innocence off my guilt. How do I effectively share my perspective without being judged? Can I hold credibility for speaking what was true for me, in the face of the bullshit version of his that he was early to release? Tough dilemma.
rachel2point0 
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