A few days ago, I got a flash back of the day leading up to the very end - of the relationship with my ex-fiancé. I had seldom thought about that part on repeat. As opposed to the other minutes I rode into the decision to try and take my life. Those I recall in... Continue Reading →
The shortest month of the year is just about over. When you’ve been thrown away and flicked aside without a lick of care by the person you were spending your life with – “getting over it” is not a simple template to follow. There isn’t a period of standard sadness that it’s over. You don’t... Continue Reading →
What kind of woman doesn't realize she's being manipulated or brainwashed, or abused? A dumb one? A woman who is poor, uneducated, struggling to make ends meet? A woman who had an abusive father, or no father at all? A woman who has never had a solid, loving relationship? Women with addiction issues? An unstable... Continue Reading →
You wanted to believe they were for real. He reached me. He got through a hard-to-access covert pathway that I don’t even have the directions to. From there, how could I ever let him go? They told you that they had never met anyone like you. They said you were special. I was special. This... Continue Reading →
“You make my breath catch,” he used to say all the time. He proudly retold the story of our first date when he saw me walking before I noticed him. I was much more beautiful than my profile pictures he said over dinner at the no frills Thai place. He had a warmth about him,... Continue Reading →
In the wake of so many women speaking up: their courage, the important attention on sexual harassment and the fact that women have suffered predominantly in private for so long, I feel more empowered to speak up. I wish I could share everything about being manipulated by a narcissist - and still seem like the... Continue Reading →
During my turn around the table, my meek voice forced out why I was there. “And so you did heroin?” someone quickly asked. No, I said. Another asked “You ended up selling your body?” “My fiancé cruelly threw me and our life away,” I summed up. “That’s everything, just that.” Several patients remained confused. Straight... Continue Reading →
There were far more moments of bliss than moments of hurt and frustration with my ex-fiancé. This, is perhaps why I fell so hard in the end when he abruptly left. The flip side to narcissists is that they show a powerful display of emotion and care. There will be a time when I am... Continue Reading →
It was more common for him to turn molehills into mountains, so I learned to navigate, process my own response and reaction. While questioning him, he made me question myself.
Gravity was the heaviest it had ever been, and my stomach was glued to the floor. There was no final conversation, no sad goodbye, no gave-it-our-best-shot chat, no mutual agreement to part and move on, no arrangements made, no inkling whatsoever.
rachel2point0 
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