The Illusion of Being Close

A few days ago, I got a flash back of the day leading up to the very end - of the relationship with my ex-fiancé. I had seldom thought about that part on repeat. As opposed to the other minutes I rode into the decision to try and take my life. Those I recall in... Continue Reading →

How to Get Over It

The shortest month of the year is just about over.  When you’ve been thrown away and flicked aside without a lick of care by the person you were spending your life with – “getting over it” is not a simple template to follow. There isn’t a period of standard sadness that it’s over. You don’t... Continue Reading →

Being the Problem

You wanted to believe they were for real.  He reached me. He got through a hard-to-access covert pathway that I don’t even have the directions to. From there, how could I ever let him go? They told you that they had never met anyone like you. They said you were special.  I was special. This... Continue Reading →

Laser Beam Love

“You make my breath catch,” he used to say all the time. He proudly retold the story of our first date when he saw me walking before I noticed him. I was much more beautiful than my profile pictures he said over dinner at the no frills Thai place. He had a warmth about him,... Continue Reading →

It Actually Happened

In the wake of so many women speaking up: their courage, the important attention on sexual harassment and the fact that women have suffered predominantly in private for so long, I feel more empowered to speak up. I wish I could share everything about being manipulated by a narcissist - and still seem like the... Continue Reading →

The Sweetest Decline

During my turn around the table, my meek voice forced out why I was there. “And so you did heroin?” someone quickly asked. No, I said. Another asked “You ended up selling your body?” “My fiancé cruelly threw me and our life away,” I summed up. “That’s everything, just that.” Several patients remained confused. Straight... Continue Reading →

Ain’t Gonna Be Your Fool

There were far more moments of bliss than moments of hurt and frustration with my ex-fiancé. This, is perhaps why I fell so hard in the end when he abruptly left. The flip side to narcissists is that they show a powerful display of emotion and care. There will be a time when I am... Continue Reading →

Challenged to change

Unlike the man who broke my heart, I haven’t and do not consider myself a “victim.” I have generally understood right from wrong. I have tried to be gentle and considerate to all beings. I can be with sadness, pain, sorrow. I can be with myself and know that I am not held hostage by... Continue Reading →

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