What woman dives into a relationship with a man immediately after he drops his fiancé in a snap, and rips her away from his kids that have been in her life for four years? What does it take to look deep into someone's eyes and be hypnotized by the stories they tell: the reasons he... Continue Reading →
Vulnerability. Low confidence. Weak self-esteem. How do we get there? What forces, experiences, and stories have we taken in - processed with tailor-made interpretations and a conclusion that we are less than....not worth...undeserving of...not up to...not not not...? Do you ever feel in your gut that something is off, but it's easier to ignore than... Continue Reading →
The shortest month of the year is just about over. When you’ve been thrown away and flicked aside without a lick of care by the person you were spending your life with – “getting over it” is not a simple template to follow. There isn’t a period of standard sadness that it’s over. You don’t... Continue Reading →
What kind of woman doesn't realize she's being manipulated or brainwashed, or abused? A dumb one? A woman who is poor, uneducated, struggling to make ends meet? A woman who had an abusive father, or no father at all? A woman who has never had a solid, loving relationship? Women with addiction issues? An unstable... Continue Reading →
“You make my breath catch,” he used to say all the time. He proudly retold the story of our first date when he saw me walking before I noticed him. I was much more beautiful than my profile pictures he said over dinner at the no frills Thai place. He had a warmth about him,... Continue Reading →
I chose to share myself and this road that I've walked since my life shifted so dramatically eight months ago by the narcissist I thought I knew and loved. The time has passed at all speeds. It hasn't been easy. It hasn't seemed like I was going to be in a better place. I'm still... Continue Reading →
I did not participate in the #MeToo posts on social media. I could have, maybe should have, but I couldn’t wrap my head around sharing a blip of info in the context of something so huge and scandalous. This would have been the first time I shared anything publicly, and there was a lot to... Continue Reading →
He bought his innocence off my guilt. How do I effectively share my perspective without being judged? Can I hold credibility for speaking what was true for me, in the face of the bullshit version of his that he was early to release? Tough dilemma.
I did learn that the brain will default to what it already knows how to do, especially old negative patterns- none of which I'd like to continue repeating. Certainly not the response I had during that fight or flight moment when my fiancé coldly said "I'm done," after I didn't apologize to him.
Because of the promises I made myself, myself, not you. That I would be the best version of myself, give every bit of energy and effort I had, like my toughest workout, an important gift, and a letter of gratitude. Give, so I could say that I didn’t have any more left. You can’t say that.
rachel2point0 
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