Being the Problem

You wanted to believe they were for real.  He reached me. He got through a hard-to-access covert pathway that I don’t even have the directions to. From there, how could I ever let him go? They told you that they had never met anyone like you. They said you were special.  I was special. This... Continue Reading →

A Green New Thing

I haven't been ready to complete this post, and I didn't realize that it would be my final post of this year 2017 - the year that began with such excitement and possibility; the feeling that something big will happen. 2017 emerged with fierce hope and energy.  A few weeks into January, I was among... Continue Reading →

The Sweetest Decline

During my turn around the table, my meek voice forced out why I was there. “And so you did heroin?” someone quickly asked. No, I said. Another asked “You ended up selling your body?” “My fiancé cruelly threw me and our life away,” I summed up. “That’s everything, just that.” Several patients remained confused. Straight... Continue Reading →

Here it comes again

Autumn. The most meaningful and favorite season of my life. It's the fresh start that comes in with the chilly air, as if to awaken, re-energize and refresh. Everything changes: the colors, the temperature, the ground, the clothing, the sky, the mood. It's like that wonderful chorus in one of those incredible songs that will... Continue Reading →

Challenged to change

Unlike the man who broke my heart, I haven’t and do not consider myself a “victim.” I have generally understood right from wrong. I have tried to be gentle and considerate to all beings. I can be with sadness, pain, sorrow. I can be with myself and know that I am not held hostage by... Continue Reading →

A letter to God

In Elul, the 60 days leading up to the Jewish High Holidays, it is said that God is in the fields, with us. He is informal, and predisposed to grant all requests. It is encouraged not to wait until Yom Kippur (the day to atone for sins in the previous year), but to take the... Continue Reading →

Were there signs?

There is so much stuff out there for dealing with change. How to handle it. How to avoid it. How to prepare for it. How to master it. How to get someone else to do it. How to do it so it doesn't look like you've done it. When essentially change is happening all the... Continue Reading →

It’s Not Easy

It's not easy having to regurgitate the story that evolved almost five months ago. When my fiancé ripped me away from the two kids I step-parented, emptied our house of his things, and was "done" with us. Just. Like. That. All while with his family out of state, in the process of buying a house,... Continue Reading →

Shifts Can Happen

Bad crap happens all the time - but SHIFTS can happen all the time too. The neuroscientist said this during the "Bouncing Back" program I attended a few months ago. She covered so much, but I was just 60 something days post the trauma of being thrown in the trash and virtually left for dead... Continue Reading →

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