The Mark of One Year

Here it is. One year has gone by. It's a snowy morning. This is spring. Even if mother nature is not ready yet. A milky white sky so serene, so peaceful.  Quiet.  Quiet like the start of day.  A practice I've put in place about six months ago: beginning my day in silence, being aware... Continue Reading →

Overpowering the Bully

What woman dives into a relationship with a man immediately after he drops his fiancé in a snap, and rips her away from his kids that have been in her life for four years? What does it take to look deep into someone's eyes and be hypnotized by the stories they tell: the reasons he... Continue Reading →

The Illusion of Being Close

A few days ago, I got a flash back of the day leading up to the very end - of the relationship with my ex-fiancé. I had seldom thought about that part on repeat. As opposed to the other minutes I rode into the decision to try and take my life. Those I recall in... Continue Reading →

Pulled Together Like Magnets

Vulnerability. Low confidence. Weak self-esteem. How do we get there? What forces, experiences, and stories have we taken in - processed with tailor-made interpretations and a conclusion that we are less than....not worth...undeserving of...not up to...not not not...? Do you ever feel in your gut that something is off, but it's easier to ignore than... Continue Reading →

How to Get Over It

The shortest month of the year is just about over.  When you’ve been thrown away and flicked aside without a lick of care by the person you were spending your life with – “getting over it” is not a simple template to follow. There isn’t a period of standard sadness that it’s over. You don’t... Continue Reading →

Laser Beam Love

“You make my breath catch,” he used to say all the time. He proudly retold the story of our first date when he saw me walking before I noticed him. I was much more beautiful than my profile pictures he said over dinner at the no frills Thai place. He had a warmth about him,... Continue Reading →

It Actually Happened

In the wake of so many women speaking up: their courage, the important attention on sexual harassment and the fact that women have suffered predominantly in private for so long, I feel more empowered to speak up. I wish I could share everything about being manipulated by a narcissist - and still seem like the... Continue Reading →

Not Moving On

Suppose it never comes - complete closure. The moment it feels as if you've done what needed to be done, said everything in your heart, gave it the time to percolate and kept the feedback window open for an adequate amount of time. And it feels right. Really right. Balanced, like your mind and body... Continue Reading →

The Sweetest Decline

During my turn around the table, my meek voice forced out why I was there. “And so you did heroin?” someone quickly asked. No, I said. Another asked “You ended up selling your body?” “My fiancé cruelly threw me and our life away,” I summed up. “That’s everything, just that.” Several patients remained confused. Straight... Continue Reading →

Beauty in the unexpected

Today was the day I was getting married. It's been in the works for almost two years. For the last six months, this date has been hanging over me like a dark, scary shadow. I've been preparing for this. Getting centered, getting guarded and protected by a force of love. Surrounded by loving people, in... Continue Reading →

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